she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
