So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
