I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
