do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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