I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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