I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
