Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
