operation harelip BJ is a go
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
