Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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