she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
