he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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