I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I need a beard to bite.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
