Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So much rum. So many feels.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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