Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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