I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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