Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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