puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
