He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
