We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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