are you still at the devil's house?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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