I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
