is your mom at the bar?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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