Whod you bang
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
