I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
The adults are the big ones right?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
