why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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