We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
