she looked like the bat from fern gully.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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