sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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