my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
