So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
