is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
