This is not my ceiling
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
