It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
