just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
