i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
