Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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