For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I AM VODKA MAN
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
