He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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