who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
