Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
