Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
