This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
