I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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