Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
