glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
