Don't you send me to vm
Sry I called you an 8
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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