So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
