No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize