Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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