Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
