she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
