he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
