his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
