Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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