Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole