one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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