Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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